Feeling overwhelmed with parenting? How to help yourself when you are helping everyone else.

Parenting is often a storm of activity, filled with school runs, homework help, meal prep, and family events. Amid the chaos, it's all too common for parents to feel weighed down by responsibilities. When you spend your energy helping everyone around you, it’s easy to forget about your own needs. However, taking care of your mental health is just as important as providing for your children. Here are some effective strategies to nurture yourself while continuing to support your family.

Understanding Parental Mental Health

Being a parent is rewarding, but it can also take a toll on your mental health. Mental health refers to your emotional, psychological, and social well-being. Parenting can bring on stress, anxiety, and even feelings of inadequacy. Recognizing that these feelings are common can help you cope effectively and create a more supportive home environment. A recent UK survey found that 61% of parents have struggled with their mental health since becoming parents. On top of that, 78% say the rising cost of living has taken a toll on their family life, showing just how much external pressures can weigh on families.

Establish Your Boundaries

Setting boundaries is one of the most important gifts you can give to yourself. As a parent, it is easy to say "yes" to every request from your children, family, or friends. Saying "no" does not make you selfish; it allows you to manage your time better. For example, instead of agreeing do the pick ups for every sport/hobby your children do, choose one commitment that suits your schedule and accept offers of help from other parents. By prioritising essential commitments, you free up mental space for self-care and can carve out important pockets of time for you throughout busy weeks.

Prioritise Self-Care

Self-care is not just a luxury; it’s a necessity for a healthy mindset. Dedicate time each day or week to do something that recharges you - even if it is just 15 mins a day. This could be reading chapter of a book, enjoying a warm bath, or a walk or going on a short run. It is well documented that engaging in self-care activities like these can significantly reduce your overall stress levels, leading to improved emotional resilience.

Create a Support Network

Building a support network of family and friends can significantly improve your parenting experience. Connecting with other parents who share similar challenges can provide comfort and reassurance. You might attend a monthly coffee meet-up or a dinner with other parents or attend an exercise class that allows you to meet other parents. Connecting with others can help build relationships and ways to reduce feelings of isolation.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation can help you gain clarity and calmness amidst the noise of parenting. Just a few minutes of focused breathing or even a simple meditation session can lower stress and anxiety levels. Consider spending five minutes each day on breathing exercises or using beginner-friendly apps like Headspace or Calm.

Stay Active

Physical activity is a proven mood booster. Finding a workout routine you enjoy can seamlessly integrate exercise into your life. This doesn’t have to mean the gym; it can be a family hike, a dance-off in your living room, or joining a local cycling group. And it doesn't have to be for long either, there is lots of research backing up engaging in short bursts of activity and it's positive impact on mood. Especially helpful when it's one of those days and you cannot fit in something longer.

Limit Screen Time

In our technology-driven world, it can be easy to drain mental energy through endless scrolling on devices. Limiting screen time can boost mood and decrease anxiety for both you and your kids. Establish specific times for electronics use, such as no screens during meals or the hour before bed. Encourage more interactive family activities like playing board games, crafting, or outdoor play. This shift not only fosters connection but combats feelings of isolation and helps with sleep patterns.

Seek Professional Help

Sometimes the challenges of parenting can feel too heavy to manage alone. It is okay to seek professional help. Psychologists and other therapists can offer tailored strategies to help navigate your parenting journey. Lot of parents who receive support through therapy report feeling more equipped to handle parenting challenges. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and take breaks. Parenting is tough, and you don’t have to carry the weight of it all on your own. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be present. By prioritising your well-being, you’re giving your family the best version of you. 

Reassess Your Expectations

Many parents struggle with unrealistic expectations. From social media to societal expectations, parents are often made to feel they must “do it all.”  It's essential to reassess what you expect from yourself and your children. Perfection is unattainable, and expecting too much can lead to burnout. Instead, focus on progress rather than perfection. Embrace the notion that every parent experiences good days and bad days. Allowing yourself grace can significantly improve your mental well-being.

Celebrate Small Wins

Don’t forget to acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small they are. Whether you managed to get through a difficult day, prepared a home-cooked meal, or made time for your hobbies, celebrating these moments boosts your spirit. Acknowledging progress fosters motivation to keep striving for balance in parenting. Some days the 'wins' are hard to see - imagine what you would say to a friend in the same position, what positive would you take from their day to show them they were doing a good enough job?

Reflecting on the Parenting Journey

Parenting is a unique journey filled with challenges and joy. Keeping your mental health in check is crucial not only for your well-being but also for your family’s happiness. By implementing effective strategies like setting boundaries, prioritising self-care, and fostering support, you can create a nurturing environment for yourself and your children. But some days and moments will be better than others, and that's OK, it is the balance of these that is more important.

Remember that caring for your mental health impacts your entire family. By modelling positive habits, you teach your children valuable lessons about resilience, emotional health and self appreciation. So prioritise your well-being—after all, a happy parent contributes to a happy home. Self care as a parent......it is least selfish thing you will ever do!