Helping Children and Teenagers Talk About Their Mental Health: Practical Tips for Parents and Teachers

Mental health is just as important for children and teenagers as their physical health, but discussing it can be challenging. As parents and teachers, you play a crucial role in creating a safe, open environment where young people feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. Here are some practical tips to help guide children and teenagers in talking about their mental health.

1. Create a Safe and Supportive Environment.

Before children or teenagers feel comfortable opening up, they need to feel safe and supported. It’s important to be patient, approachable, and non-judgmental.

For Parents: Make sure to listen without interrupting or offering solutions right away. Sometimes, teenagers just need someone to listen, not necessarily to fix the problem. For example, if your teenager says, "I feel stressed about school," instead of immediately offering advice, try responding with, “That sounds tough. Do you want to talk more about it?”

For Teachers: Be observant of non-verbal cues, as teenagers might not always have the words to express themselves. If a teenager seems upset, withdrawn, or avoiding schoolwork, it may be a sign they’re struggling emotionally. Approach them privately and gently ask if they want to talk.

2. Use Age-Appropriate Language.

Teenagers may have a better understanding of mental health concepts, but they might still have trouble discussing it openly. It’s essential to meet them where they are and avoid patronizing language.

For Parents: While it’s important to avoid talking down to your teenager, it’s equally important to avoid assuming they already understand mental health issues fully. For example, instead of simply saying, “You’re stressed,” you might explain, “It sounds like you’re overwhelmed right now. That’s really common when there’s a lot on your plate. Let’s see what we can do to help.”

For Teachers: Use clear, respectful language when discussing mental health. Avoid labeling students as “depressed” or “anxious” unless you are certain. Instead, say something like, "It seems like you're having a tough time lately—can we talk about how you're feeling?”

3. Normalize Conversations About Mental Health.

For both children and teenagers, making mental health a regular topic can help reduce the stigma and make them feel more comfortable when they’re ready to talk.

For Parents: Share your own feelings and mental health experiences with your teenager (in an age-appropriate way). For instance, “I had a really tough day at work today. I felt really frustrated, but I took a break and talked it out with a friend. Sometimes that helps me feel better.” This shows your teen it’s normal to have struggles and that seeking help or talking about feelings is okay.

For Teachers: Incorporate mental health discussions into your regular classroom activities. Consider starting the day with a quick “check-in” where students can rate their mood or share how they’re feeling. This creates a routine of openness and shows students that emotional health is a priority.

4. Encourage Emotional Expression Through Activities.

For teenagers, emotions may feel especially overwhelming during moments of stress or transition. Offering them different outlets can help them express what they’re feeling in a way that doesn’t feel as intimidating as a direct conversation.

For Parents: Encourage your teenager to express themselves creatively, such as through journaling, music, or drawing. If they enjoy music, they might even find it easier to talk about their emotions through the lyrics of a song. Sometimes, writing in a journal before talking to you can help them better understand their feelings and make it easier to communicate.

For Teachers: Offer creative projects that give students a chance to express their emotions indirectly. A reflective essay or a poetry assignment could be a great way for a teenager to explore their mental health without the pressure of an open conversation.

5. Validate Their Feelings.

Teenagers can sometimes feel misunderstood, and invalidating their feelings can make them shut down. When they do open up, it's important to acknowledge and validate what they're experiencing.

For Parents: If your teenager shares something vulnerable, make sure to acknowledge it before offering advice. For example, if your teen says, “I feel like no one at school likes me,” respond with, “That sounds really tough. It must feel lonely when you feel like that.” This validation can help them feel understood and more open to talking about their emotions.

For Teachers: Validate the challenges your students are facing. Instead of dismissing their feelings, say things like, “I understand that this is hard. It’s okay to feel that way,” which reinforces that their emotions are legitimate and worthy of attention.

6. Be Patient and Consistent.

It can take time for children and teenagers to feel comfortable opening up about their mental health. It’s important to be patient and consistent in your approach.

For Parents: Keep the lines of communication open, even if your teenager doesn’t seem ready to talk. Let them know you’re always available when they’re ready to share. For example, you could say, “I know you’re going through a lot right now. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.”

For Teachers: Check in with students regularly, especially those who might be dealing with mental health challenges. Let them know that you are a reliable, trustworthy adult who is there to listen. Even if they don’t talk immediately, the consistency of your approach will create a foundation for future conversations.

Helping children talk about their mental health is an ongoing process that requires patience, empathy, and support. As long as you can create an open, non-judgemental, supportive environment and using age-appropriate language, you really can help young people feel comfortable sharing their emotions....which is the first step to getting support when they need it. As the adults around them you have the power to normalise mental health conversations and provide the initial emotional support children and teenagers need to thrive.